Liberal Bastards Broke My Blog
Due to the massive influx of traffic VVH received because of the Nicotrol post, I apparently exceeded whatever bandwidth allowances my image hosting service has, and my account has been terminated.
That is why my picture and my FAQ are out of service.
Therefore, I ask once again: Does anyone happen to know of a free image hosting service I could use? A relatively high bandwidth allowance would be very nice, just in case that anonymous bastard Atrios, or that MSNBC bastard Alterman, or that snarky bastard Roger Ailes ever link to my site again.
I ask because I've finally gotten around to fixing this damn thing - you'll notice the email address and the updated "posts of note" section on the sidebar. I'd like to finish the job, so any suggestions are welcome.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Definitive Proof That The Corner Is For Idiots
Courtesy of the irrepressible K-Lo, we get a letter from a reader with a firm grasp of the facts:
Idiot.
Fortunately, Prop 54 is dead dead dead, and Ward Connerly is now forced to take his voodoo prescription for healing race relations to other states where he is mocked less forcibly than he was at the hands of California voters yesterday.
Courtesy of the irrepressible K-Lo, we get a letter from a reader with a firm grasp of the facts:
"I am living proof of the need for Prop. 54 to be successful. On Sunday I got an automated call from Jesse Jackson urging me to vote no on the recall, which I believe he said was a right wing power grab coup. Monday, Bill Clinton called then Al Gore. At first I was thinking they picked numbers through zip codes. Then my buddy down the street told me she received an automated call from Republican Daryl Issa. Then another neighbor said that she had only received calls from Republicans. Why are they calling me, I am a registered Republican and I have given to the GOP?Prop 54 was about the collecting of racial statistics by the state. Our astute Corner reader seems to think that she was called because her name is Lopez. That's entirely possible. But that has nothing to do with the collection of racial statistics. It has to do with using a fucking phone book. Does she perhaps think that Prop 54 would force the telephone comnpanies to take a redacting marker to the phone book, blacking out any name that doesn't appear on the passenger manifest of the Mayflower?
Oh I know, my last name is Lopez (actually Lopez-Lopez, my husband says he always did find his best dates at family reunions) . A Portuguese Lopez and a Honduran Lopez, but a juicy Lopez to the Democrats I guess."
Idiot.
Fortunately, Prop 54 is dead dead dead, and Ward Connerly is now forced to take his voodoo prescription for healing race relations to other states where he is mocked less forcibly than he was at the hands of California voters yesterday.
Fuck The First Amendment, Time To Outlaw PETA
Walking down the street the other day, I happened to see an older fellow cross to the other side of the street before he got to the corner. Just before he made it to the other side, he was blindsided by a dumptruck.
I immediately ran over to him, and took him in my arms, unsure whether or not he would survive the next few minutes.
"You fucking idiot!" I screamed, "You jaywalking son of a bitch! You got what you deserved! The street is for cars, moron, not people! I hope this teaches you your fucking lesson!"
Ho ho. Notice my fine grasp of ethics and basic human decency.
Perhaps I should join PETA, to be with others who share my principled view of the world.
From a letter faxed by PETA to the hospital room of Roy Horn, recent victim of a severe mauling by one of his tigers:
As I have mentioned before, PETA can go fuck itself. You lousy jackasses make the rest of us liberals look bad.
Walking down the street the other day, I happened to see an older fellow cross to the other side of the street before he got to the corner. Just before he made it to the other side, he was blindsided by a dumptruck.
I immediately ran over to him, and took him in my arms, unsure whether or not he would survive the next few minutes.
"You fucking idiot!" I screamed, "You jaywalking son of a bitch! You got what you deserved! The street is for cars, moron, not people! I hope this teaches you your fucking lesson!"
Ho ho. Notice my fine grasp of ethics and basic human decency.
Perhaps I should join PETA, to be with others who share my principled view of the world.
From a letter faxed by PETA to the hospital room of Roy Horn, recent victim of a severe mauling by one of his tigers:
"Perhaps Friday’s frightening incident will make you realize that a brightly lit stage with pounding music and a screaming audience is not the natural habitat for tigers, lions, or any other exotic animals. The only natural thing that happened on that stage was that this majestic animal lashed out against a captor who was beating him with a microphone because he wouldn’t do a trick. No matter how much you say that you love the wild animals whom you have confined continents away from their natural homes, you are still the men who have subjugated their wills and natures to further your own careers. "For those who didn't catch it the first time, this was faxed to Horn's hospital room. You know, the one in which he is currently fighting for his life, because he lost so much blood he had a stroke.
"You are now in a unique position to show the world both that you have lived and learned and that you have true respect for animals by leaving them some shred of the life that nature intended."If you don't die, you filthy bastard.
As I have mentioned before, PETA can go fuck itself. You lousy jackasses make the rest of us liberals look bad.
Shifty Figures
The ever-endearing K-Lo at the Corner:
Next up: Mary Rosh holds forth on the Negro conspiracy to vote in the 2000 election.
The ever-endearing K-Lo at the Corner:
"John Lott adds numbers to the Rush/ESPN debate."OH! Well, if John Lott has numbers to back him up, he must be correct!
Next up: Mary Rosh holds forth on the Negro conspiracy to vote in the 2000 election.
The Only California Recall Post I Will Lower Myself To Write For The Foreseeable Future
- Arnold Schwarzenegger's win really doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot to me. I know that there are Democrats out there who see this as a major setback, but it's not. The recall has been a circus from start to finish, a freakshow that gave erections to news organizations and disdainful fits of laughter to the rest of us. But it's not indicative of anything. Reynolds is already crowing about how Schwarzenegger and McClintock together pulled in 60% of the vote, and how this is bound to scare the living hell out of Democrats.
Funny, I'm not scared. Why? Because, despite a string of utterly atrocious movies in between True Lies and T3, Arnold is a freaking movie star. Moreover, you couldn't build a movie star more suited to appealing to the Republican base demographic of the white male, particularly the white male who doesn't follow politics. A lot of people who don't pay attention to politics came out for this election and voted for Arnold because they like watching him shoot things. The "R" next to his name didn't do it for him - the diehards to whom that "R" means everything voted for McClintock. His existing celebrity, his apparently liberal stance on social issues, and an incredibly shortened campaign ideal for temporarily shuffling his many major flaws under the rug is what won it for him. It was indeed a winning formula, but it also one that cannot be replicated - not for the GOP, and not, I suspect, for Arnold.
Of course Arnold was going to win. We all knew that as soon as he announced. Sure, a lot of Democrats got their hopes up when Bustamonte started doing well, but hey, as soon as the recall petition hit critical mass, pretty much everyone was sure that Davis was out and a Republican was in. In fact, a lot of people, including myself, saw it as, if not a good thing, at least a thing we could tolerate. Boot a Democrat that makes the party look bad, dump the fiscal disaster in someone else's lap, say hello to Governor Cruz in 2006. The worst case scenario, that of an utter wingnut like Issa winning, has been avoided. So I don't see the point of getting worked up over something we all resigned ourselves to two months ago.
- CalPundit is right, Kos is wrong. Any Democrat who wants to recall Arnold before the 2004 Presidential election is thinking with his balls and not his brain. While I am a big fan of taking the fight to the GOP, another media circus in California drawing attention away from the Presidential race is something that Karl Rove wants so badly he would fund the petition to recall Schwarzenegger himself if he didn't think he'd be caught. Why do you think the plan is to run a lightning two month campaign starting in September? Why do you think Bush has very, very little direct interaction wth the press?
Because the longer you look at Bush, the worse he appears. Rove would give his left nut to have California pull a giant "Hey! Look over there!" on the country at exactly the point when a Presidential incumbant's record is given the most scrutiny.
- While Schwarzenegger may have dodged the bullets that are his personality, his behavior, and a campaign so substance-free it made Libby Dole's look like a theoretical physics dissertation, he will not get a second term - unless the economy rebounds and magically fixes the budget crisis, or he shoots somebody.
- A lot of commentators who dismissed the sexual harrasment allegations against Arnold as an evil plot by Davis should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, the timing is mighty suspicious, and Davis may very well have played a role in it. I keep hearing about what a bombshell that LA Times article was, but that's crap - a lot of people have known about Arnold's behavior for a long time. It didn't really matter when he was just a movie star, because...well, for whatever reason it is that we allow our celebrities to act appallingly by continuing to support them even after we know what shits they are.
But he's a politician now, a public servant. It's a whole new ballgame, and if anything, it's amazing that that article wasn't written two months ago. If Andrew Sullivan and Glenn Reynolds are right, and Gray Davis did have a hand in delaying that story until just before the election, they should be thanking him, not condemning him. Had the allegations had a month to pick up steam, they might have really hurt him; as it was, they were too little, too late.
The overall point, though, is that all indications point to Arnold being a scumbag, and regardless of the timing of any given article, he should be condemned for the way he treats women.
And, for the record, all of those commentators who have taken the opportunity to defend Arnold's behvior and bash various feminist figures at the same time (you know who they are) are scum.
- I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Mickey Kaus is a cocksucker.
- California will not go to Bush in 2004 no matter who reigns in Sacramento, unless it's part of a Mondale-type landslide, and due to the "no foreigners" clause of the Constitution, Governor is as high as Arnold goes on the totem pole. So who cares? California is largely populated by crazy people, beautiful people, and pussies who are afraid of snow, so I say fuck 'em.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Governor of California. Now that's funny.
Update: Andrew Sullivan's constant referral to Schwarzenegger as "the Eagle" officially makes him, among all the other unkind things I have called him, a huge fucking dork.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger's win really doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot to me. I know that there are Democrats out there who see this as a major setback, but it's not. The recall has been a circus from start to finish, a freakshow that gave erections to news organizations and disdainful fits of laughter to the rest of us. But it's not indicative of anything. Reynolds is already crowing about how Schwarzenegger and McClintock together pulled in 60% of the vote, and how this is bound to scare the living hell out of Democrats.
Funny, I'm not scared. Why? Because, despite a string of utterly atrocious movies in between True Lies and T3, Arnold is a freaking movie star. Moreover, you couldn't build a movie star more suited to appealing to the Republican base demographic of the white male, particularly the white male who doesn't follow politics. A lot of people who don't pay attention to politics came out for this election and voted for Arnold because they like watching him shoot things. The "R" next to his name didn't do it for him - the diehards to whom that "R" means everything voted for McClintock. His existing celebrity, his apparently liberal stance on social issues, and an incredibly shortened campaign ideal for temporarily shuffling his many major flaws under the rug is what won it for him. It was indeed a winning formula, but it also one that cannot be replicated - not for the GOP, and not, I suspect, for Arnold.
Of course Arnold was going to win. We all knew that as soon as he announced. Sure, a lot of Democrats got their hopes up when Bustamonte started doing well, but hey, as soon as the recall petition hit critical mass, pretty much everyone was sure that Davis was out and a Republican was in. In fact, a lot of people, including myself, saw it as, if not a good thing, at least a thing we could tolerate. Boot a Democrat that makes the party look bad, dump the fiscal disaster in someone else's lap, say hello to Governor Cruz in 2006. The worst case scenario, that of an utter wingnut like Issa winning, has been avoided. So I don't see the point of getting worked up over something we all resigned ourselves to two months ago.
- CalPundit is right, Kos is wrong. Any Democrat who wants to recall Arnold before the 2004 Presidential election is thinking with his balls and not his brain. While I am a big fan of taking the fight to the GOP, another media circus in California drawing attention away from the Presidential race is something that Karl Rove wants so badly he would fund the petition to recall Schwarzenegger himself if he didn't think he'd be caught. Why do you think the plan is to run a lightning two month campaign starting in September? Why do you think Bush has very, very little direct interaction wth the press?
Because the longer you look at Bush, the worse he appears. Rove would give his left nut to have California pull a giant "Hey! Look over there!" on the country at exactly the point when a Presidential incumbant's record is given the most scrutiny.
- While Schwarzenegger may have dodged the bullets that are his personality, his behavior, and a campaign so substance-free it made Libby Dole's look like a theoretical physics dissertation, he will not get a second term - unless the economy rebounds and magically fixes the budget crisis, or he shoots somebody.
- A lot of commentators who dismissed the sexual harrasment allegations against Arnold as an evil plot by Davis should be ashamed of themselves. Yeah, the timing is mighty suspicious, and Davis may very well have played a role in it. I keep hearing about what a bombshell that LA Times article was, but that's crap - a lot of people have known about Arnold's behavior for a long time. It didn't really matter when he was just a movie star, because...well, for whatever reason it is that we allow our celebrities to act appallingly by continuing to support them even after we know what shits they are.
But he's a politician now, a public servant. It's a whole new ballgame, and if anything, it's amazing that that article wasn't written two months ago. If Andrew Sullivan and Glenn Reynolds are right, and Gray Davis did have a hand in delaying that story until just before the election, they should be thanking him, not condemning him. Had the allegations had a month to pick up steam, they might have really hurt him; as it was, they were too little, too late.
The overall point, though, is that all indications point to Arnold being a scumbag, and regardless of the timing of any given article, he should be condemned for the way he treats women.
And, for the record, all of those commentators who have taken the opportunity to defend Arnold's behvior and bash various feminist figures at the same time (you know who they are) are scum.
- I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Mickey Kaus is a cocksucker.
- California will not go to Bush in 2004 no matter who reigns in Sacramento, unless it's part of a Mondale-type landslide, and due to the "no foreigners" clause of the Constitution, Governor is as high as Arnold goes on the totem pole. So who cares? California is largely populated by crazy people, beautiful people, and pussies who are afraid of snow, so I say fuck 'em.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger is the Governor of California. Now that's funny.
Update: Andrew Sullivan's constant referral to Schwarzenegger as "the Eagle" officially makes him, among all the other unkind things I have called him, a huge fucking dork.
Sunday, October 05, 2003
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Woe Unto Those That Condemn Rush Limbaugh
~ For I too have felt the steely grip of vice ~
Some people are addicted to sex.
Some people are addicted to illegal drugs.
Some people are addicted to massive quantities of prescription painkillers.
These people have it easy, compared to me.
I am addicted to Madden 2004 for the XBox.
A few of you have perhaps wondered why it is that posting here at VVH has been scant for the last month - or more accurately, since the Nicotrol post that garnered 16,000 hits over the course of a week and a half and momentarily made me a much more popular blogger than my efforts here usually merit.
Why, Christian, why would you not capitalize on this opportunity to massively increase your readership by at least posting a few tidbits to keep some of those new visitors coming back?
The answer is simple: as an addict, all of my free time (and some of my not-so-free time) has been devoted to satisfying my craving.
To be clear, I would be addicted to this game regardless of the actual progress of the real football season. However, the progress of my favorite football program has driven me further and further into the dreamworld that my faithful XBox creates for me at the press of a button.
Consider the following possibilities:
Kordell Stewart, a masterful QB, roaming in and out of the pocket, driving defenses crazy as he runs for the first down if the defenders cover the receivers too tightly, and passing for the first down if they break off to stop him.
Anthony Thomas, pro-bowler and regular season MVP, rushing for 1750 yards and gaining 300 yards worth of receptions.
David Terrell, master of the fly route, accelerating past defenders to catch for 1300 yards.
RW McQuarters, a cornerback that strikes fear into the hearts of quarterbacks everywhere, pulling in 13 interceptions, six of which he returns for touchdowns.
An offensive line featuring four (yes, four) pro-bowlers, ready to stomp all over puny defensive linemen and make linebackers cry for their mommas.
And the Bears, making it to the conference finals two years in a row only to lose in heartbreakers, favored to win the 2005 Superbowl.
All of these things are true when I turn my XBox on; when I turn it off, I return to reality - horrid, horrendous, excruciating reality.
Is it any wonder I choose Madden over blogging?
I thought not.
Anyway, I have a few ideas for increasing my posting here - we'll see if any of them work out, eh?
In the meantime, I have to go trade my worthless, can't-catch-jack-shit fullback for Mike Alstott.
Ahh, fantasy.
~ For I too have felt the steely grip of vice ~
Some people are addicted to sex.
Some people are addicted to illegal drugs.
Some people are addicted to massive quantities of prescription painkillers.
These people have it easy, compared to me.
I am addicted to Madden 2004 for the XBox.
A few of you have perhaps wondered why it is that posting here at VVH has been scant for the last month - or more accurately, since the Nicotrol post that garnered 16,000 hits over the course of a week and a half and momentarily made me a much more popular blogger than my efforts here usually merit.
Why, Christian, why would you not capitalize on this opportunity to massively increase your readership by at least posting a few tidbits to keep some of those new visitors coming back?
The answer is simple: as an addict, all of my free time (and some of my not-so-free time) has been devoted to satisfying my craving.
To be clear, I would be addicted to this game regardless of the actual progress of the real football season. However, the progress of my favorite football program has driven me further and further into the dreamworld that my faithful XBox creates for me at the press of a button.
Consider the following possibilities:
Kordell Stewart, a masterful QB, roaming in and out of the pocket, driving defenses crazy as he runs for the first down if the defenders cover the receivers too tightly, and passing for the first down if they break off to stop him.
Anthony Thomas, pro-bowler and regular season MVP, rushing for 1750 yards and gaining 300 yards worth of receptions.
David Terrell, master of the fly route, accelerating past defenders to catch for 1300 yards.
RW McQuarters, a cornerback that strikes fear into the hearts of quarterbacks everywhere, pulling in 13 interceptions, six of which he returns for touchdowns.
An offensive line featuring four (yes, four) pro-bowlers, ready to stomp all over puny defensive linemen and make linebackers cry for their mommas.
And the Bears, making it to the conference finals two years in a row only to lose in heartbreakers, favored to win the 2005 Superbowl.
All of these things are true when I turn my XBox on; when I turn it off, I return to reality - horrid, horrendous, excruciating reality.
Is it any wonder I choose Madden over blogging?
I thought not.
Anyway, I have a few ideas for increasing my posting here - we'll see if any of them work out, eh?
In the meantime, I have to go trade my worthless, can't-catch-jack-shit fullback for Mike Alstott.
Ahh, fantasy.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Tuesday, September 30, 2003
Brett Favre Should Be Fed To Aaron Gibson. And Then We Throw Aaron Gibson Off A Building
Ugliness. Shame.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers at home.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers at the home-opener.
But the fact that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers at the home-opener that also happened to be the first game in the new Soldier Field, and in front of a national audience on Monday night... that hurts.
When I first heard that the Bears had acquired Kordell Stewart, I was extremely excited. I know that he is one of the more maligned quarterbacks in the league, but it seems to me that that is because he's so damn talented that when he screws up, it seems a lot worse than when someone else screws up (see: the idiotic "is Brett Favre washed up?" theme that the sports media was throwing around after the Pack's opening loss).
I still like Kordell - a lot. He's easily the best QB Chicago has seen since...well, shit. Since as far back as I can remember. He's fast, he's athletic, he's got a hell of an arm. With the new start he's been given in Chicago, away from all the baggage he had with the Steelers, he should do well. On almost any other team, he would.
Unfortunately, he is on the Bears, and so is being protected by the worst offensive line in professional football.
He's shown flashes of brilliance, explosive running ability, and good throwing sense (you'll notice that almost every incomplete pass that wasn't dropped in the last two games was underthrown - a smart reaction to his multiple interceptions against San Francisco, as underthrown passes are much harder to intercept than overthrown passes).
But none of that means shit when the defense is able to roam the backfield virtually at will.
The same applies to Anthony Thomas. His performance in tonight's game should be enough to shut up his critics who keep harping on his lackluster performance last year. His two big runs showed that he has excellent agility and hardcore speed (on his first touchdown run, the nearest defender had a step or two on him, but Thomas accelerated right past him in the open field - absolutely burned him).
Unfortunately, Walter Payton himself would have had trouble running it straight up the middle (the running play Offensive Coordinator John Shoop is most fond of, regardless of the advisability of said running play on, say, 2nd and 13) if his offensive line was being pushed back two feet behind the line of scrimmage. You're supposed to get a forward push on a run - that's how gaps are created, gaps that your running back can run through and gain, you know, yards.
One of my greatest fears for this season is that Bears management will get it into its head that the Bears' lowly performance is due to poor play by Kordell and Thomas, and will get rid of either or both of them, thus resuming the cycle of futility we have experienced at those two positions for...well, shit. Since as far back as I can remember.
And speaking of Bears management, Jerry Angelo has been looking more and more brilliant for his decisions to
a) release veteran right tackle James Williams (twelve years with the team, knows the system, damn good lineman) and replace him with Horrendous Fatass Aaron Gibson
b) allow New England to outbid him for linebacker Roosevelt Colvin (most sacks last year and in 2001 - good compliment to Urlacher)
c) trade defensive tackle Ted Washington (paired with Keith Traylor, made running it up the middle virtually impossible for opposing teams, as well as keeping those unpleasant offensive linemen tied up, freeing Urlacher to do what he does best - beat the snot out of whoever has the ball) to New England in return for fuck all. Urlacher has been fighting off blocking linemen all season long, and offenses have taken advantage of the fact that he's tied up for a few crucial seconds. During the Vikings game, I saw O-linemen get to him untouched on several occasions, allowing a big run. Pathetic.
Jerry Angelo, Genius of Our Time.
Bonus Jerry Angelo: As Gregg Easterbrook pointed out a few weeks ago, Ted Washington was one of Coach Jauron's favorite guys, which means that the decision to trade him was almost certainly made over his objection, which in turn means that, once again, management is in conflict with the coaching staff. Hot damn! And down the toilet we go...
Tommorrow, I get to the offensive line. If I haven't had a stroke by then, of course.
Ugliness. Shame.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers at home.
It's bad enough that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers at the home-opener.
But the fact that tonight's game was a pummeling at the hands of the Packers at the home-opener that also happened to be the first game in the new Soldier Field, and in front of a national audience on Monday night... that hurts.
When I first heard that the Bears had acquired Kordell Stewart, I was extremely excited. I know that he is one of the more maligned quarterbacks in the league, but it seems to me that that is because he's so damn talented that when he screws up, it seems a lot worse than when someone else screws up (see: the idiotic "is Brett Favre washed up?" theme that the sports media was throwing around after the Pack's opening loss).
I still like Kordell - a lot. He's easily the best QB Chicago has seen since...well, shit. Since as far back as I can remember. He's fast, he's athletic, he's got a hell of an arm. With the new start he's been given in Chicago, away from all the baggage he had with the Steelers, he should do well. On almost any other team, he would.
Unfortunately, he is on the Bears, and so is being protected by the worst offensive line in professional football.
He's shown flashes of brilliance, explosive running ability, and good throwing sense (you'll notice that almost every incomplete pass that wasn't dropped in the last two games was underthrown - a smart reaction to his multiple interceptions against San Francisco, as underthrown passes are much harder to intercept than overthrown passes).
But none of that means shit when the defense is able to roam the backfield virtually at will.
The same applies to Anthony Thomas. His performance in tonight's game should be enough to shut up his critics who keep harping on his lackluster performance last year. His two big runs showed that he has excellent agility and hardcore speed (on his first touchdown run, the nearest defender had a step or two on him, but Thomas accelerated right past him in the open field - absolutely burned him).
Unfortunately, Walter Payton himself would have had trouble running it straight up the middle (the running play Offensive Coordinator John Shoop is most fond of, regardless of the advisability of said running play on, say, 2nd and 13) if his offensive line was being pushed back two feet behind the line of scrimmage. You're supposed to get a forward push on a run - that's how gaps are created, gaps that your running back can run through and gain, you know, yards.
One of my greatest fears for this season is that Bears management will get it into its head that the Bears' lowly performance is due to poor play by Kordell and Thomas, and will get rid of either or both of them, thus resuming the cycle of futility we have experienced at those two positions for...well, shit. Since as far back as I can remember.
And speaking of Bears management, Jerry Angelo has been looking more and more brilliant for his decisions to
a) release veteran right tackle James Williams (twelve years with the team, knows the system, damn good lineman) and replace him with Horrendous Fatass Aaron Gibson
b) allow New England to outbid him for linebacker Roosevelt Colvin (most sacks last year and in 2001 - good compliment to Urlacher)
c) trade defensive tackle Ted Washington (paired with Keith Traylor, made running it up the middle virtually impossible for opposing teams, as well as keeping those unpleasant offensive linemen tied up, freeing Urlacher to do what he does best - beat the snot out of whoever has the ball) to New England in return for fuck all. Urlacher has been fighting off blocking linemen all season long, and offenses have taken advantage of the fact that he's tied up for a few crucial seconds. During the Vikings game, I saw O-linemen get to him untouched on several occasions, allowing a big run. Pathetic.
Jerry Angelo, Genius of Our Time.
Bonus Jerry Angelo: As Gregg Easterbrook pointed out a few weeks ago, Ted Washington was one of Coach Jauron's favorite guys, which means that the decision to trade him was almost certainly made over his objection, which in turn means that, once again, management is in conflict with the coaching staff. Hot damn! And down the toilet we go...
Tommorrow, I get to the offensive line. If I haven't had a stroke by then, of course.
Monday, September 29, 2003
TMRM Returns
Tonight's the night.
Bears vs. Packers at Soldier Field. Kickoff at 9:00 pm EDT.
Game commentary (and then regular commentary/mockery/nonsense) after the game.
Until then, Bears vs. Packers bullet point (singular, as there is one specific thing that makes me want to tear my hair out and set myself on fire):
Edit: I was wrong. Gibson does not weigh 375 after losing 30-60 pounds. He weighs 375 after losing 70 pounds. Fucking hell. Are there any slow-moving sideline reporters that have gone missing recently? Because I think I know who we should X-ray in order to find them.
Tonight's the night.
Bears vs. Packers at Soldier Field. Kickoff at 9:00 pm EDT.
Game commentary (and then regular commentary/mockery/nonsense) after the game.
Until then, Bears vs. Packers bullet point (singular, as there is one specific thing that makes me want to tear my hair out and set myself on fire):
- Watch Bears right tackle Aaron Gibson. What do you notice? For one, he is fat. Incredibly fat. As in, never-stand-in-his-shadow-because-he-could-have-a-heart-attack-and-fall-on-you fat. But hey, he's an offensive lineman- he's supposed to be huge. Unfortunately, it appears that his fighting weight of 375 (reached after dieting and losing 30-60 pounds) is a bit too much for him to handle. Watch his stance on the line. It's subtly different on run plays from his stance on pass plays. I'm assuming that this is because his girth prevents him from properly performing both kinds of block from a single stance. But really, the reason doesn't matter. The point is, HIS STANCE ON RUN PLAYS AND PASSING PLAYS IS NOT THE SAME. The Bears' head coach might as well hold a neon sign above his head on every down informing the defense whether they should expect the run or the pass.
Hopefully, after two weeks of watching game film, the coaching staff realized this problem and took appropriate steps (my favored solution is running a light scrimmage, and hitting Gibson with a baseball bat every time the defense can tell what kind of play is about to be run). If not, enjoy the sight of Kordell Stewart doing his damnedest to not be killed, because if the first two games are any indication, there will be an average of two defenders in the backfield within a second of the snap on virtually every play.
Edit: I was wrong. Gibson does not weigh 375 after losing 30-60 pounds. He weighs 375 after losing 70 pounds. Fucking hell. Are there any slow-moving sideline reporters that have gone missing recently? Because I think I know who we should X-ray in order to find them.
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Nicotrol For Right Wing Blog Addicts
As a public service, we here at VeryVeryHappy are proud to offer the following generic entries to several popular Right wing blogs to stave off whatever twisted cravings you might have to read the real things.
InstaPundit:
HERE'S AN INTERESTING POST by a guy named Steve from Des Moines. He highlights the direct connection between the modern Democratic Party and the National Socialist German Workers Party. Some incriminating stuff here. Of course, you wouldn't know this if you only watched CNN...
posted at 05:43 PM by Glenn Reynolds
THE NEW YORK TIMES IS FULL OF SHIT because they quote unreliable sources and make things up.
posted at 05:17 PM by Glenn Reynolds
James Lileks:
Gnat was adorable today. I know that's a standard dad thing to say (average in the way that a gray tabby cat is average - familiar, but still aggressively likable. "Like me! Purr! Hiss!"), but it's true.
"Why can leprechauns get to end of the rainbow but we can't?" she asked with an impertinent grin.
The sheer cuteness of it floored me.
And you know what? I couldn't help but be reminded - by this precocious little girl who still doesn't know what wonders and complexities await her in this world - of why the Democrats are traitors and the Left seeks to destroy all that is beautiful.
I don't know, Gnat, I don't know. Let's find out together.
Andrew Sullivan:
IT LOOKS LIKE I WAS RIGHT: The only people blown up today are foreigners. America's shores are safe for you and me. George Bush is a genius.
EMAIL OF THE DAY: "As a proud member of the Communist Party, I have to say, the madness needs to stop!
I would describe myself as very liberal. I support nationalization of industry (without compensation), mandatory taxes ranging from 60-97% of all income, and the rehabilitation of endangered species by feeding them aborted fetuses. I also believe that war is wrong, and no person should ever do violence to another, for any reason.
I still believe strongly in most of those things, but the terrible tragedy that struck our nation two years ago has made me realize that I was wrong about war. The incredible leadership of President Bush during this time of crisis has opened my eyes.
It is with these stances in mind that I say: The Democratic presidential candidates are way too far Left for me!
I cannot describe to you how turned off I am by the disgusting, repetitive nature of their anti-Bush rhetoric. I can't say I agree with everything the President does, but he has proven himself to be courageous and strong in the face of the worst crisis ever to face our nation. He does not deserve the vile things that these nine nobodies are saying about him.
This, combined with their poilicy positions (which are so liberal they scare me!), forces me to conclude that none of them deserves the nomination. Unfortunately, one of them will get it.
And therefore I will be proud to vote for George W. Bush in November 2004.
P.S. - I am not Andrew Sullivan pretending to be an emailer.
P.P.S. - Really."
SONTAG AWARD NOMINEE: Dan Rather did tonight's newscast without a flag pin on his lapel. Pretty convincing proof that Bernie Goldberg was right. Bias indeed. But I'm sure Eric Alterman can come up with a nice-sounding excuse about how this has no bearing on his ludicrous "What Liberal Media" thesis. We're waiting, Eric.
- 2:47:23 PM
Little Green Footballs:
We must fight anti-Semitic tendencies wherever we may find them, for we must never forget the horrors of the Holocaust.
We must also kill all suspicious-looking Muslims.
Now quit taking my words out of context.
posted by Charles at 3:44 PM PST
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler:
I am so fucking enraged I think my head is going to explode!!!
For any of you asshated illiberal moonbat fucknozzles that are reading this, here are The RulesTM that Loyal Citizens (REAL Americans to you, you bedwetting shiteating fuckwits) live by:
If some dried-up Commie sympathizing whore from the Irritating Retarded Shitdogs (I.R.S.) tells you that they haven't stolen enough of your money, you shoot her, because she's a cunt.
If you are in the Gestapo city of Chicago and one of Mayor Fucktard Daley's SS troopers pulls you over and gives you a ticket, you shoot them, because Nazi scumfuckers deserve to be Horrendously Hollowed out by HollowpointsTM!
If I ever see a crowd of foolish felching fuckweasle hippies, there'd better be cops in between me and them, because otherwise I'd tear their fucking midget-dicks off and shove them down their putrid throats! Or I'd shoot them.
And never, ever include the letter "o" when spelling "G-d", because that's a sin.
Posted by Emperor Misha I at 03:27 AM
As a public service, we here at VeryVeryHappy are proud to offer the following generic entries to several popular Right wing blogs to stave off whatever twisted cravings you might have to read the real things.
InstaPundit:
HERE'S AN INTERESTING POST by a guy named Steve from Des Moines. He highlights the direct connection between the modern Democratic Party and the National Socialist German Workers Party. Some incriminating stuff here. Of course, you wouldn't know this if you only watched CNN...
posted at 05:43 PM by Glenn Reynolds
THE NEW YORK TIMES IS FULL OF SHIT because they quote unreliable sources and make things up.
posted at 05:17 PM by Glenn Reynolds
James Lileks:
Gnat was adorable today. I know that's a standard dad thing to say (average in the way that a gray tabby cat is average - familiar, but still aggressively likable. "Like me! Purr! Hiss!"), but it's true.
"Why can leprechauns get to end of the rainbow but we can't?" she asked with an impertinent grin.
The sheer cuteness of it floored me.
And you know what? I couldn't help but be reminded - by this precocious little girl who still doesn't know what wonders and complexities await her in this world - of why the Democrats are traitors and the Left seeks to destroy all that is beautiful.
I don't know, Gnat, I don't know. Let's find out together.
Andrew Sullivan:
IT LOOKS LIKE I WAS RIGHT: The only people blown up today are foreigners. America's shores are safe for you and me. George Bush is a genius.
EMAIL OF THE DAY: "As a proud member of the Communist Party, I have to say, the madness needs to stop!
I would describe myself as very liberal. I support nationalization of industry (without compensation), mandatory taxes ranging from 60-97% of all income, and the rehabilitation of endangered species by feeding them aborted fetuses. I also believe that war is wrong, and no person should ever do violence to another, for any reason.
I still believe strongly in most of those things, but the terrible tragedy that struck our nation two years ago has made me realize that I was wrong about war. The incredible leadership of President Bush during this time of crisis has opened my eyes.
It is with these stances in mind that I say: The Democratic presidential candidates are way too far Left for me!
I cannot describe to you how turned off I am by the disgusting, repetitive nature of their anti-Bush rhetoric. I can't say I agree with everything the President does, but he has proven himself to be courageous and strong in the face of the worst crisis ever to face our nation. He does not deserve the vile things that these nine nobodies are saying about him.
This, combined with their poilicy positions (which are so liberal they scare me!), forces me to conclude that none of them deserves the nomination. Unfortunately, one of them will get it.
And therefore I will be proud to vote for George W. Bush in November 2004.
P.S. - I am not Andrew Sullivan pretending to be an emailer.
P.P.S. - Really."
SONTAG AWARD NOMINEE: Dan Rather did tonight's newscast without a flag pin on his lapel. Pretty convincing proof that Bernie Goldberg was right. Bias indeed. But I'm sure Eric Alterman can come up with a nice-sounding excuse about how this has no bearing on his ludicrous "What Liberal Media" thesis. We're waiting, Eric.
- 2:47:23 PM
Little Green Footballs:
We must fight anti-Semitic tendencies wherever we may find them, for we must never forget the horrors of the Holocaust.
We must also kill all suspicious-looking Muslims.
Now quit taking my words out of context.
posted by Charles at 3:44 PM PST
The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler:
I am so fucking enraged I think my head is going to explode!!!
For any of you asshated illiberal moonbat fucknozzles that are reading this, here are The RulesTM that Loyal Citizens (REAL Americans to you, you bedwetting shiteating fuckwits) live by:
If some dried-up Commie sympathizing whore from the Irritating Retarded Shitdogs (I.R.S.) tells you that they haven't stolen enough of your money, you shoot her, because she's a cunt.
If you are in the Gestapo city of Chicago and one of Mayor Fucktard Daley's SS troopers pulls you over and gives you a ticket, you shoot them, because Nazi scumfuckers deserve to be Horrendously Hollowed out by HollowpointsTM!
If I ever see a crowd of foolish felching fuckweasle hippies, there'd better be cops in between me and them, because otherwise I'd tear their fucking midget-dicks off and shove them down their putrid throats! Or I'd shoot them.
And never, ever include the letter "o" when spelling "G-d", because that's a sin.
Posted by Emperor Misha I at 03:27 AM
Monday, September 08, 2003
50 K
Well, I'll be damned. This evening, VeryVeryHappy officially hit 50,000 page views.
This is, of course, absolutely ridiculous, as I'm just some guy writing on the internet (with decreasing frequency, I know...I'm working on that).
Anyway, I think it's pretty cool that something I made has been looked at 50,000 times. Pretty puny when compared to the big boys, but seeing as how my posting has dropped to a trickle since roughly April, I'm quite pleased.
For the people who've been dropping by since February, I salute your endurance. For those who have jumped on my little bandwagon since then, I appreciate you sticking around. And to everyone, thanks for occasionally taking a few minutes out of your day to check out VeryVeryHappy, and for dropping a comment or two.
Now start visiting on weekends too, you ungrateful bastards.
Well, I'll be damned. This evening, VeryVeryHappy officially hit 50,000 page views.
This is, of course, absolutely ridiculous, as I'm just some guy writing on the internet (with decreasing frequency, I know...I'm working on that).
Anyway, I think it's pretty cool that something I made has been looked at 50,000 times. Pretty puny when compared to the big boys, but seeing as how my posting has dropped to a trickle since roughly April, I'm quite pleased.
For the people who've been dropping by since February, I salute your endurance. For those who have jumped on my little bandwagon since then, I appreciate you sticking around. And to everyone, thanks for occasionally taking a few minutes out of your day to check out VeryVeryHappy, and for dropping a comment or two.
Now start visiting on weekends too, you ungrateful bastards.
Holy Christ, Donald Luskin Has Lost His Mind
No, this is not news. But I at least thought that the NRO editors would have the decency to try to cover it up a little bit. You know, snip a faulty premise here, cut a multi-word personal insult there. Something. This man goes on television, for God's sake.
But no. His increasingly disturbing stalking of Paul Krugman has been thrown into high gear after Krugman's appearance on Russert's show last night.
Highlights:
So Donald, go fuck yourself.
I mean, if you're trying to appeal to the "false sense of superiority due to a vast overestimation of one's grasp of rhetorical skills and devices" demographic by going for the unfunny insult string, at least make it interesting. Make me get out a dictionary, Don. This one sentence is the ultimate (though I dare say not the final) proof that anything he writes about Krugman should be taken slightly less seriously than anything Roseanne and Tom Arnold say about each other, and so he could at least be good enough to let me break even in intelligence gained/lost --after having my IQ damaged through exposure to this and similar columns-- by learning some new words.
No lie. I read this column today, and now I can't do math.
Perhaps excessive proofreading of his own columns is the cause of Luskin's repeatedly-demonstrated innumeracy?
Luskin is apparently serious when he talks about how Big and Important he is. He has skillfully managed to create an online persona that seems -- to him -- to be witty and cunning and always victorious, a persona that -- to everyone else -- seems rather obviously to be massive overcompensation for being picked last for kickball when he was a child.
Maybe if we all just call him Home Run Luskin for awhile, he'll be able to heal those long-festering psychic wounds, and kindly go the hell away.
Luskin's...unique...interpretation of Krugman's statement is not unexpected. Why do I get the impression that Krugman could have read The Iliad for an hour and Luskin would have called it a confession of his abominable sins?
Oh, that's right. Because I am right, and Donald Luskin is approaching terminal velocity in his descent toward batshit crazy.
Think about that.
And Krugman whispers about Luskin late at night alone in his room? Am I the only one who detects erotic undertones here?
Maybe Krugman should just let Luskin fuck him and get it over with.
I close with a comment I left at someone's site a few weeks ago that seems particularly appropriate today:
Luskin becomes more and more unhinged every time I read him - which, admittedly, is not particularly often...just enough to track his downword spiral toward raving madness and adjust my bet with myself over the exact date on which he will accuse Krugman of secretly being John Hinckley. Currently, I'm going with September 17th, 2004, when election mania hits a fevered pitch and poor Donald's psyche cracks like an egg.
I think it is time to adjust my bet once again.
No, this is not news. But I at least thought that the NRO editors would have the decency to try to cover it up a little bit. You know, snip a faulty premise here, cut a multi-word personal insult there. Something. This man goes on television, for God's sake.
But no. His increasingly disturbing stalking of Paul Krugman has been thrown into high gear after Krugman's appearance on Russert's show last night.
Highlights:
"Are you surprised that Krugman's publisher, W.W. Norton, has repeatedly refused my requests for a review copy of the book?"No. If I repeatedly said "Donald Luskin is an idiot" in a prominent liberal publication, and then asked Luskin's publisher for an advance copy of his book so that I might call him an idiot while quoting it, I would expect to be told to go fuck myself.
So Donald, go fuck yourself.
"For the next month or so, it's going to be all Krugman all the time. It's going to be painful to have to listen over and over to all the trademark Krugman talking points we've all come to know and hate so well. [...] In recent weeks I had been feeling pretty depressed with this prospect. [...] But when I saw the interview with Russert on Saturday night, I stopped worrying. And now I'm hoping that his 15 minutes of fame will be his undoing. In situations where he's separated from the prestige and credibility of his New York Timescolumn — and when people can talk back — Krugman will no longer seem the Great and Powerful Oz. He'll stand revealed as nothing more than the man behind the curtain."Seriously, I've paid less attention to girls I wanted to have sex with than Luskin does to Krugman.
"The nervous, stammering, shifty-eyed, twitching, ill-tailored, gray homunculus slumping across the table from Tim Russert Saturday night..."Excepting only the lyrics to a handful of White Snake songs, this is the most pathetic thing I have ever read in my life. Even more pathetic than when Luskin started calling Krugman's responses to him "elephant shit" (what, "bullshit" does not properly convey how much you disagree? Fuck it, lets's go whole hog and say "blue whale shit!" Ooh! My post compares what you say to the feces of an animal many times larger than a bull! You can't handle this! You can't handle this!)
I mean, if you're trying to appeal to the "false sense of superiority due to a vast overestimation of one's grasp of rhetorical skills and devices" demographic by going for the unfunny insult string, at least make it interesting. Make me get out a dictionary, Don. This one sentence is the ultimate (though I dare say not the final) proof that anything he writes about Krugman should be taken slightly less seriously than anything Roseanne and Tom Arnold say about each other, and so he could at least be good enough to let me break even in intelligence gained/lost --after having my IQ damaged through exposure to this and similar columns-- by learning some new words.
No lie. I read this column today, and now I can't do math.
Perhaps excessive proofreading of his own columns is the cause of Luskin's repeatedly-demonstrated innumeracy?
"And I'm delighted to report that, as you will see, the Krugman Truth Squad had a key role to play in the wheel-removal process. In fact, I think we may have to make Russert an honorary member of the Squad."You have to be pretty arrogant when your estimation of yourself is greater than Rush Limbaugh's. Hell, you need to be Napoleon for your estimation of yourself to be greater than Limbaugh's. But Donald manages to pull it off. Congratulations, I guess. The big difference between the two, though, is that while Limbaugh's "talent on loan from God" thing has worn exceedingly thin, he can at least fall back on it being a supposed self-parody.
Luskin is apparently serious when he talks about how Big and Important he is. He has skillfully managed to create an online persona that seems -- to him -- to be witty and cunning and always victorious, a persona that -- to everyone else -- seems rather obviously to be massive overcompensation for being picked last for kickball when he was a child.
Maybe if we all just call him Home Run Luskin for awhile, he'll be able to heal those long-festering psychic wounds, and kindly go the hell away.
"Coming out of the commercial, after doing the obligatory flash of the book jacket for the camera (operators are standing by), Russert opened with,Holy hell, I can hear Luskin's erection. And I'm half a continent away from him.
RUSSERT:The National Review Online has the Krugman Truth Squad.
KRUGMAN:Yeah.
RUSSERT:They monitor every word you write. And they will pick apart every column, and say 'He no longer is just an economist. He's an ideologue, and he just is trying to twist facts in order to prove a political point.' "
"Let's really savor this. Coming out of an awesomely long pause — a pause you just never see on television, one that probably had some guys in the CNBC control room really twitching — Krugman said, 'I think that given, given that I'm writing 100 columns a year, uh, the number of things they've actually been able to make stick is pretty small.'Wow. Paul Krugman is a bit introverted and uncomfortable on television. He must be killed immediately.
A mind-boggling defense. Actually, it's not a defense at all — it's a confession.He is confessing that he lies — but, he has an excuse: He had to write 100 columns a year! He was too busy to tell the truth. "
Luskin's...unique...interpretation of Krugman's statement is not unexpected. Why do I get the impression that Krugman could have read The Iliad for an hour and Luskin would have called it a confession of his abominable sins?
Oh, that's right. Because I am right, and Donald Luskin is approaching terminal velocity in his descent toward batshit crazy.
"Was he also too busy to tell the truth about the number of columns he writes in a year? In the last twelve months he's written 93 columns, not 100."I do not say this lightly: Jonah Goldberg is too good to be associated with an institution that publishes Luskin on a regular basis.
Think about that.
"In the last six months, the Krugman Truth Squad has uncovered dozens upon dozens of lies, errors, distortions, and misquotations within Krugman's columns, but the Princeton professor has only countered with lame self defenses on his personal website. "Someone really should get around to letting Donald know that even conservatives are embarrassed by how thoroughly Krugman has shredded Luskin on those occasions when he actually stooped to responding to one of Don's columns. I mean, come on. After the third round of one of those slapdowns, Luskin was reduced to writing an entire column that consisted largely of creative rephrasings of "I am right and you are wrong."
"Krugman got to take his microphone off and pull the little rubbery disposable earphone out of his ear and go back to his hotel room and mutter about how terrible it is to be "stalked, uh, intellectually," and tell himself that his book will probably sell pretty well anyway, despite the conservatively biased media."I can be accused of many things, but fantasizing about my enemies' preoccupation with me is not one of them.
And Krugman whispers about Luskin late at night alone in his room? Am I the only one who detects erotic undertones here?
Maybe Krugman should just let Luskin fuck him and get it over with.
I close with a comment I left at someone's site a few weeks ago that seems particularly appropriate today:
Luskin becomes more and more unhinged every time I read him - which, admittedly, is not particularly often...just enough to track his downword spiral toward raving madness and adjust my bet with myself over the exact date on which he will accuse Krugman of secretly being John Hinckley. Currently, I'm going with September 17th, 2004, when election mania hits a fevered pitch and poor Donald's psyche cracks like an egg.
I think it is time to adjust my bet once again.
Announcement
Never in a thousand years will I forgive John Edwards if the Democrats wind up with 49 or 50 Senate seats after the 2004 election.
Never in a thousand years will I forgive John Edwards if the Democrats wind up with 49 or 50 Senate seats after the 2004 election.
Sunday, September 07, 2003
Memos From The You've-Got-To-Be-Fucking-Kidding-Me Dept.
Colorado Republicans, at the behest of famous Detached Observer With No Agenda At All David Horowitz, are looking into ways to tie state funding for public universities to the hiring of more conservatives at said universities. Keep in mind that this means "conservatives as defined by David Horowitz."
For various reasons, this will never happen, but just the fact that politicians are willing to talk to reporters about this kind of thing is absolutely apeshit crazy.
I'm trying to decide whether or not I am depressed about the fact that the most important message that needs to be presented to the American people is "These People Must Be Stopped."
Colorado Republicans, at the behest of famous Detached Observer With No Agenda At All David Horowitz, are looking into ways to tie state funding for public universities to the hiring of more conservatives at said universities. Keep in mind that this means "conservatives as defined by David Horowitz."
For various reasons, this will never happen, but just the fact that politicians are willing to talk to reporters about this kind of thing is absolutely apeshit crazy.
I'm trying to decide whether or not I am depressed about the fact that the most important message that needs to be presented to the American people is "These People Must Be Stopped."
"What Do You Think Of Your Team's Execution?"
Disaster and doom and very bad things.
We will discuss the horror show that was the Bears-49ers game later this week, but tonight I am going to listen to Def Leppard and Motley Crue, mouse up my hair, and pretend that it is 1985 ("Man...Jim McMahan is so awesome!"). Otherwise, I would cry myself to sleep.
Q: Which would be more effective at stopping the pass rush, the Bears' offensive line, or a large block of cheese?
A: Who cares? They both should be fed to the rats.
Disaster and doom and very bad things.
We will discuss the horror show that was the Bears-49ers game later this week, but tonight I am going to listen to Def Leppard and Motley Crue, mouse up my hair, and pretend that it is 1985 ("Man...Jim McMahan is so awesome!"). Otherwise, I would cry myself to sleep.
Q: Which would be more effective at stopping the pass rush, the Bears' offensive line, or a large block of cheese?
A: Who cares? They both should be fed to the rats.
It Wouldn't Be A True Presidential Speech...
If the illustrious InstaPundit didn't take the opportunity to lie about people he dislikes:
We're in Iraq for the long haul, and all of the serious contenders for the Democratic nomination acknowledge that; indeed, I do believe that one of the primary premises of even the anti-war crowd was that if we invaded Iraq, we would be obligated to rebuild it at the cost of several years and hundreds of billions of our dollars.
To snidely claim otherwise is a "lie," in the same way that Glenn Reynolds is "the best argument for storing nuclear waste in Knoxville."
If the illustrious InstaPundit didn't take the opportunity to lie about people he dislikes:
"It was an outright challenge to the neo-McGovernites, and even more of a challenge to those wafflers (and several are beginning to appear) among the Democratic presidential candidates, specifically mentioning Somalia and Beirut (bipartisan bugout history there), and noting that lessening our commitment would be a disaster, and play into the terrorists' hands."The McGovern thing is cute - especially since the only candidate even vaguely supporting immediate withdrawal of all our forces from Iraq is Kucinich (unless, of course, Glenn has taken Chris Suellentrop's unusually dunderheaded misreading of Dean's statements at the Democratic debates to heart).
We're in Iraq for the long haul, and all of the serious contenders for the Democratic nomination acknowledge that; indeed, I do believe that one of the primary premises of even the anti-war crowd was that if we invaded Iraq, we would be obligated to rebuild it at the cost of several years and hundreds of billions of our dollars.
To snidely claim otherwise is a "lie," in the same way that Glenn Reynolds is "the best argument for storing nuclear waste in Knoxville."
Balls
Bush certainly has them, yes indeed.
Some of the more reasonable sorts have been wondering just how Bush would manage to ask for international help in Iraq without looking like the kid who trips you at recess but then tries to talk you out of your twinkie at lunch.
The President has kindly answered that question for us: by demanding it.
"Hey, Dave, I think I smell gas coming from that house."
"Really? I don't."
"Yeah, definitely gas. We need to go in there."
"Dude, that's somebody's house. We can't just break in there. We should call the cops."
"Dave, you pussy! I'm going in! You can screw yourself."
"Okay."
[Smash! Crash! Shatter-tinkle-CRUNCH!]
"Hey, Roger, you okay in there? I'm still not smelling any gas."
"Screw you! It's in here! I'll find it!"
"Okay."
[Time passes. Flames shoot out of front window.]
"Um...Roger? Is that flame from the gas?"
"No. That...um...that was me. Hey! Listen. You have to come in here and help me put this fire out."
"What? Why?"
"It's your duty. I know we had some disagreements in the past, but you must now acknowledge your responsibility for what has happened here, and you must now help in the long and dangerous process of putting out this fire that I started while doing something which you advised me not to do."
"Um...have you found gas in there yet?"
"I'll get back to you on that one."
Balls.
Bush certainly has them, yes indeed.
Some of the more reasonable sorts have been wondering just how Bush would manage to ask for international help in Iraq without looking like the kid who trips you at recess but then tries to talk you out of your twinkie at lunch.
The President has kindly answered that question for us: by demanding it.
"I recognize that not all of our friends agreed with our decision to enforce the Security Council resolutions and remove Saddam Hussein from power. Yet we cannot let past differences interfere with present duties. Terrorists in Iraq have attacked representatives of the civilized world, and opposing them must be the cause of the civilized world. Members of the United Nations now have an opportunity -- and the responsibility -- to assume a broader role in assuring that Iraq becomes a free and democratic nation. "Damn.
"Hey, Dave, I think I smell gas coming from that house."
"Really? I don't."
"Yeah, definitely gas. We need to go in there."
"Dude, that's somebody's house. We can't just break in there. We should call the cops."
"Dave, you pussy! I'm going in! You can screw yourself."
"Okay."
[Smash! Crash! Shatter-tinkle-CRUNCH!]
"Hey, Roger, you okay in there? I'm still not smelling any gas."
"Screw you! It's in here! I'll find it!"
"Okay."
[Time passes. Flames shoot out of front window.]
"Um...Roger? Is that flame from the gas?"
"No. That...um...that was me. Hey! Listen. You have to come in here and help me put this fire out."
"What? Why?"
"It's your duty. I know we had some disagreements in the past, but you must now acknowledge your responsibility for what has happened here, and you must now help in the long and dangerous process of putting out this fire that I started while doing something which you advised me not to do."
"Um...have you found gas in there yet?"
"I'll get back to you on that one."
Balls.
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