tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50428012024-02-28T02:35:46.232-05:00VeryVeryHappyWe Are All -Very- Happy Here...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger360125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-72681544895439656052008-09-23T13:37:00.003-04:002008-09-23T14:03:22.701-04:00TMRM: Political Consultant At LargeAll day yesterday, I was bombarded with the message that the economic meltdown is favorable to Obama in that it confirms essentially everything he's ever said about regulation while simultaneously making McCain scramble to explain his belief in phlogiston radical deregulation. "HOWEVER," say the pundits, "Obama needs a catchy slogan like Bill Clinton's 'It's TheUnknownnoreply@blogger.com65tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-10217065153396677082008-09-19T13:19:00.002-04:002008-09-19T13:22:06.918-04:00All Our Houses Are Belong To The GovernmentOn the plus side, does that mean that if John McCain wins, he'll keep those damn kids off my lawn too?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-9102463033363935342008-09-09T12:53:00.003-04:002008-09-09T13:28:17.940-04:00LASERS! FROM SPACE!Is anyone else puzzled by the fact that Bob Woodward's1 tales of a military killing technology that he would "compare...to the Manhattan Project" and is supposedly responsible for most of the drop in violence in Iraq is not getting more comment than it is?That sound, by the way, is from all the conspiracy theorists in the country simultaneously shitting themselves. 1 Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-87667442286652629442008-09-08T13:13:00.003-04:002008-09-08T13:21:48.157-04:00Memory LaneThis reminds of the (metaphorical) conversation I had with Metallica in the spring of 2000.Me: Hey, Metallica, I love your music, own almost all your albums, and this new Napster thing seems like a cool way to find the few tracks I didn't know existed! You guys are great!Metallica: Fuck you.Me: Fuck me? No, fuck you.[a few years pass]Metallica: Here's Saint Anger, our great new album!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com75tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-60960990129316770832008-09-04T12:29:00.002-04:002008-09-04T12:45:57.997-04:00TMRM: Political Consultant To The StarsListen up, Guv'nors. Suffering from low popularity? The people of your state gathering on the lawn of the capitol, pitchforks in hand? Don't you worry about, I've got you covered. With my simple 3 point plan, you'll soon be the most popular guy/gal your state has ever known!1. Find oil.*2. Tax the profits of whichever company pumps the oil. 3. Use that moneyUnknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-49278509804076302282008-06-12T13:16:00.002-04:002008-06-12T13:28:32.889-04:00You're WelcomeIt seems that the Obama campaign has decided to take me up on the advice that the Kerry campaign ignored. When he wins, don't bother with a high level political appointment; a check with lots of zeroes in it will do just fine. Happy to be of assistance, call for further advice.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-68541852892821812152008-06-06T13:41:00.003-04:002008-06-06T14:39:45.944-04:00The Same Shall Devolve~Simple Version~Vice President. Who?Hillary?No.Facts: Three major groups kept Hillary afloat past sell-by date: 1) appalachian white working class, 2) diehard oldschool feminists, 3) top Democratic fundraisers. Reason Clinton doesn't help, by group:1) Still a black guy on the ticket2) Women not having to accept second place kind of the point of voting for Hillary.3) Fuck Unknownnoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-87233581474542987072008-06-04T13:44:00.003-04:002008-06-04T14:47:15.054-04:0040 YearsSeveral years ago, during the peak of the Bush years, I wrote a short post called Heroes which I took down after only a few hours because I felt it was too depressing. It wasn't a particularly deep thought, and it was a drastic oversimplification of reality, but it seemed true on a symbolic level, especially given what at the time seemed the bleak prospect of sanity prevailing in this Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-34910738228295912612008-03-19T14:14:00.003-04:002008-03-19T14:37:32.730-04:00In Which An Exception Is MadeIt is time, I feel, to declare it officially Okay to call Barack Obama articulate, well-spoken, etc. Yes, smart white liberals who cringe at this kind of thing, we've all seen the Chris Rock bit from Bring the Pain too; and yes, he was right to point out that those terms are usually used in a somewhat condescending manner when talking about black politicians. But Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-19432378794199971142008-03-18T14:25:00.002-04:002008-03-18T14:27:10.991-04:00The SpeechSeriously, you tell me that it wasn't the smartest thing you've ever heard a politician say about race in this country.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-88061333065270178502008-03-01T19:17:00.004-05:002008-03-01T19:57:00.661-05:00Fear Of A Black PlanAfter four years I figured it was about time for me to reaffirm my standing claim that Roy can truthfully tack "and the Mighty Reason Man concurs" onto the end of (very nearly) every post, so I went looking for something recent to link to. Turns out he posted just yesterday on fears of Obama's potential assasination - specifically, certain rightwing reactions to that fear, butUnknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-82961465964583170522008-02-29T06:00:00.010-05:002008-03-01T15:48:17.882-05:00Good People of Texas & Ohio:So! You will soon be in the voting booth! It is time to make a decision, to make your voice heard, to seal the deal (probably) on the Democratic nominee for President1. Except you hesitate, because you know how important this choice is. This is the man or woman who will go up against the entrenched Republican machine that's been in the driver's seat in one way or Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1172467074320132492007-02-26T00:15:00.001-05:002007-02-26T00:19:08.090-05:00Martin. Fucking. Scorsese.Recognize.What Superbowl?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1170521063643796642007-02-03T11:36:00.000-05:002007-02-03T11:44:23.660-05:00Fear The UrsineWe ain't here to start no trouble...We're here to jack Indy the fuck up.Bear Down!On a related note - Brian Urlacher: Crushing tool of divine retribution against your offense, or force of nature that springs up out of nowhere to wreck havoc and general destruction? I shall be wandering around the city of Chicago in a drunken haze all weekend, so if you see me, yell "The President Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1162974635756721532006-11-08T03:27:00.000-05:002006-11-08T03:44:12.206-05:00Eloquence (and, incidentally, a very pleasant voluntary two year radio silence) Be DamnedTO: GOP FROM: DemocratsSUBJECT: Who smells subpoenas?We're back, motherfuckers. ...so, that was my blogger password...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1099440190756844442004-11-02T19:02:00.000-05:002004-11-02T19:03:10.756-05:00Itinerary Reviewed
I woke up with a massive headache from staying up too late.
I took two Advil, drank a Red Bull, got dressed and went to work.
I stood in front of a CNC mill, drilling and tapping holes in various pieces of metal.
I ate lunch.
I stood in front of the same mill for four more hours.
I went home and showered.
I went and voted to overthrow the most powerful man in the Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1099096099499001662004-10-29T20:09:00.000-04:002004-10-29T22:39:28.550-04:00Bin Laden
Is a very smart man.
No matter who prevails on Tuesday, he just gave the losing side the perfect excuse to deny the legitimacy of the winner. Whichever side loses will be absolutely convinced that the election was skewed by Bin Laden's tape -- as many people are convinced happened in Spain earlier this year after the Madrid bombings -- and the bitter polarization which has marked theUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1098504933188031472004-10-23T01:03:00.000-04:002004-10-23T00:24:31.853-04:00Fuck Smiley Gladhands With Hidden Agendas
Tool's Opiate has, for some reason, been my song of the month - by which I mean, I find myself humming, singing, or outright headbanging to it, even when it's not actually playing anywhere outside of my head.
While listening to it at extremely high volume today at work, it occurred to me that the song could be a freakin' lullaby for a good chunk of Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1097893930269872932004-10-15T22:18:00.000-04:002004-10-15T23:58:48.253-04:00References To Lesbians For Dummies
~ Free Of Dick Cheney Puns* ~
Big Dick is pissing** and moaning.
Lynne Cheney knows good men when she sees them, and Kerry ain't it.
Republicans are loudly shocked and outraged.
"So," you ask yourself, "Should I maybe be upset as well? There are many fine Americans who think Kerry's reference to Mary Cheney as a lesbian was wrong. Should I count myself Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1097717855162996722004-10-13T21:34:00.000-04:002004-10-13T21:37:35.163-04:00Dear Kerry '04,
You wanna win? Blanket the swing states with ads showing the clip of Bush going, "Heh heh heh...Gosh, I sure hope it isn't the administration!"
Homina homina homina!
Yours in Love,
TMRM
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1097287965515030572004-10-08T22:09:00.000-04:002004-10-08T22:21:06.720-04:00The Greatest Thing I Have Ever Heard
"Need some wood?"
- The President of the United States.
Think about that. I officially have a new catchphrase.
No, George, I don't. You just lost the election, so I's gots plenty. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1097271450746167632004-10-08T17:26:00.000-04:002004-10-08T17:37:30.746-04:00Evening Plans
Because of the technical difficulties I experienced with Blogger during the VP debate, I haven't decided whether or not to liveblog the Presidential debate tonight. However, as this is the most important event* in the election to this point, I will be writing something about it one way or the another. So, you know, drop by if you're of a mind. Y'all.
* Tonight, after all, is Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1097035261034250242004-10-06T01:00:00.000-04:002004-10-06T00:34:22.706-04:00The Calculus of Bullshit
It takes five seconds to speak a lie. Let us be extremely optimistic and say that it takes thirty seconds to debunk a lie. Both candidates are alloted the same amount of time to speak and respond. Therefore, the advantage goes to whoever is willing to lie most freely. The poor bastard on the wrong end of this equation ends up being unable to address more than a handful Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1097024303062808882004-10-05T20:57:00.000-04:002004-10-05T21:32:57.196-04:00The Vice Presidential Debate (Rah! Yay!)
Damn, no warning or anything on C-SPAN, just, "Here they are!"
***
Um...are they debating via telepathy?
I know I didn't bother to check out the rules and format of this debate, but neither did 99.99% of the people watching. To us, this long stretch of silence is just freakin' weird.
***
Excellent camera findin' skills, Mr. Edwards. Yes, we're over Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5042801.post-1096947405929071982004-10-04T23:19:00.000-04:002004-10-05T20:48:39.950-04:00Liveblogging Once Again
In a move I will surely regret in the morning once I sober up, I have decided to liveblog the Vice Presidential debate tommorrow evening. Join me in what will no doubt be a mind-numbingly dumb spectacle of fresh-faced optimism, monotone lies of historic proportions, and a thousand media personalities falling all over themselves to tell us how a thousand media Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0