Sunday, September 07, 2003

Balls

Bush certainly has them, yes indeed.

Some of the more reasonable sorts have been wondering just how Bush would manage to ask for international help in Iraq without looking like the kid who trips you at recess but then tries to talk you out of your twinkie at lunch.

The President has kindly answered that question for us: by demanding it.
"I recognize that not all of our friends agreed with our decision to enforce the Security Council resolutions and remove Saddam Hussein from power. Yet we cannot let past differences interfere with present duties. Terrorists in Iraq have attacked representatives of the civilized world, and opposing them must be the cause of the civilized world. Members of the United Nations now have an opportunity -- and the responsibility -- to assume a broader role in assuring that Iraq becomes a free and democratic nation. "
Damn.

"Hey, Dave, I think I smell gas coming from that house."

"Really? I don't."

"Yeah, definitely gas. We need to go in there."

"Dude, that's somebody's house. We can't just break in there. We should call the cops."

"Dave, you pussy! I'm going in! You can screw yourself."

"Okay."

[Smash! Crash! Shatter-tinkle-CRUNCH!]

"Hey, Roger, you okay in there? I'm still not smelling any gas."

"Screw you! It's in here! I'll find it!"

"Okay."

[Time passes. Flames shoot out of front window.]

"Um...Roger? Is that flame from the gas?"

"No. That...um...that was me. Hey! Listen. You have to come in here and help me put this fire out."

"What? Why?"

"It's your duty. I know we had some disagreements in the past, but you must now acknowledge your responsibility for what has happened here, and you must now help in the long and dangerous process of putting out this fire that I started while doing something which you advised me not to do."

"Um...have you found gas in there yet?"

"I'll get back to you on that one."


Balls.

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